Saturday, November 18, 2006

Humble before Him

How long will you refuse to humble yourself before me? - God asked Pharaoh. It's also a question asking me a lot of times. I am never a humble person. I learnt to cover my low self-esteem up with pride. I trained myself to not fear of anything and anyone. In any circumstances, I must be able to survive. Lack of love, I desire people to need me, praise me, envy me. After several bad experience in trusting people, I figured to lock my faith up sans souci. Isolation emotionally make me more focus on myself and not interested in others.

I am spoiled and now I can't humble. God knows it's very dangerous. For there is always obstacle to walk on the right track. Rebel, argue, resist, stone-heart, not able to focus on him... These are all the outcome of not humble. Satan felt from an angel because he can't be humble before God. Pharaoh lost the lives of the first-born children in his own country because he insisted not humble before God. and how about me?

When God punished, he always distinct Isreal people from Egyptians. The chosen one should be different from others. God himself treats us differently. People keep telling me I am a person of grace. Very lucky and blessed. Sister said it's because I accepted Jesus since I was young. He treats me differently from others. He chose me and he sticks with it. But I am still back and forth from choosing him or the world(or myself). Exodus 10-11

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