I started to find a job. I decided it's more suitable for me to serve in npo. Only in that environment, I can walk on his way with him closely. And that is what I treasure mostly now. But I don't have much experience in npo, I have fewer opportunity. Finding a job easily drags down one's dignity and self-confidence. Probably because you have to put yourself out there for them to choose, to judge, and to agree on. Your ability, your education, your personality, your every achievement in your life, all depend on their evaluation. I feel insecure and uncomfortable if I don't get any interview, or no offer after an interview. But I know he leads me to the right place eventually.
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