The more I intend to get another dog in my life, the more I miss him. The missing is more concrete than ever. His little face expression, his barking, his smell, his cuddling with me. I really miss him. The more I miss him, the more guilty I get. That night, my emotion dropped to the bottom. I question myself if I can love again, if I can live on, if I can ever really move on. I question if I am worth for being love by God and people around me. I weep and feel so guilty inside and I cry for help from him. He then ensures me he loves me. It is true. Thinking back this year, he loves me so much more than ever. Then I have courage to hang on. I know my heart will be stronger and already is. Maybe I am sick, but as long as God doesn't leave me alone, I have the power to live the fruitful life that blesses others.
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