Learning to Lose

Throughout our life, we are taught how to accomplish, gain, get, win, achieve. Never once there is someone telling us how to lose. To lose the stuffs we long for and the people we love dearly. Unfortunately, we all have to face it one day no matter we know or don't know how to. I have a few experience in losing, first a Rolex, then a boyfriend, and then my grandma, then my health. But I've never learnt the lesson because I tend to escape. Not this time God allows me to get away so easy. My pet died accidentally in desease. From seeing him struggling on me, bringing him to the vet, watching him moaning unconsciously, and finally holding his dead body in my arm, I can do nothing but pray desperately for a chance to get him alive. He'd still gone! No matter how much I can pay for or how many tears I drop for him, he had been gone. This is lost! Forever lost. Never could see him again. No matter how much I want him back or how much I miss him. In the first episode of Six Feet Under, Nate said to the blaming father of a 6-year-old dead child, "Everybody dies. No matter how many people you punch, it wouldn't change the fact. Your chance to be in his life is over. Did you do it well or you just pissed it away! And your own fucking clock is ticking too." I guess dying is the most terrible kind of lost comparing to the others. And I think I will never learn how to handle and face it gracefully. "Not to piss it away", maybe that's what I should keep in mind!