Strength

What is strength? To be able to get what you want? men, jobs, money, friends, high standard of living...etc. To be pretty and independence? To own property and make profit? Being charm in front of your friends? To be able to boss around? To win in every fight every debate? Pretend to know what you want for life and dare to get it? Dare to bungy jump? Dare to confront the authority? To hide in the cave when hurt and actually need a hand? Then appear woundless and pretend nothing can hurt me? To avoid deep talk? Not need a man of my own? To live alone and well being? To buy a couple of expensive stuff? Huh! Recently I feel so weak inside. vis-a-vis I get to know myself. I am NOT strong! I might be able to achieve all of the above. But I am so fragile, with so limited survival skill in relationship. I'm such a chicken in front of true human. I am so good in inhumanity and so childish in humanity living. I was such an abuse kid and I'm such a adult child. I'm strong to most people but I'm telling u I'm pathetic! Without God, I have no hope at all! How can I face all these at once by myself??? God grace on me. Don't ever take your eyes off me for one second... then... one day after the other... I'll be more complete.