I am sad. relationship make me sad. it reminds me of bad relationship, bad memory from the past. it reminds of all the loneliness with or without relationship. I should be exciting but I am sad. I am desperate but sad. I can't see your plan so I get even more hopeless. I am afraid. So nauseous and dizzy in waiting. Stress from the encouragement and support from friends. they all want me to end with happy marriage. they're my best friends. but I get cold feet. I need to back off. it's too hard for me. I pray hard but I cant find any strength. I cant stand any stress. the best i can do is to escape and lie. I feel very sick. what should i do? God I need your help!!