The last night of 2010, I got this dream that I can't even define it's good or bad. I mean the content is exactly what I long for. But it's so real that I almost celebrate then I found myself awake from a dream. Too good to be true. I hate it. I blame God for this joke. So cruel to me. I can remember every tiny little detail. He and I met again. We decided to get married. He said we can have our own children if I want any. Then I said I really long for children but he got children already from his previous marriage. No sex in the dream just a warm happy ending scene. But at the end I suspected if he actually got his divorced done or I just become the mistress. Terrible terrible terrible! God I will never be someone mistress no matter how much I love him. And I want to have my own family with someone experience-less. Listen to my prayer.... Protect me from these kind of dreams....