Meeting with M

It was F1 I met her. She became my best friend immediately. Classmates envied our friendship. We together learnt and joined activities. That was the happiest time so far in my life. Because my childhood was in frighten, lies, abuse and abandon. Maybe I didn't have that capacity to load those adversities at that time, it still seemed to me a nightmare but not real. Anyway, her friendship and acceptance gave me lots of support and courage to start my high school. Then, I can't remember if it's F3, she got another best friend. I was acting weird, jealous and miserable. I experience my first heartbreak. I cried everyday and I had no one to tell. F5 I went study in Canada giving her and I a "full stop". Although I experienced later on more heartbreaking ends of relationship, deep in my heart, there were place reserved for her long time ago. That's why today, after 17 years we met with her new born son, bugs bite inside. Figure out my feeling now, I love her as an old buddy still. And I pray for her and family all the best. And I finally find the reason for my conservative and not trusting other. That was really hurt! I better ask God to completely heal me.