Grade 5 Piano Exam

My hand is shaking. Shivering inside. Hate this feeling. In 30mins, I will be in a paino exam that I've been preparing for 11 months. I am extremely nervous now. I thank God for having F to comfort me and encourage me with her instant experience. But Still I got so nervous, an unfamiliar emotion lately. God I wish I can handle well and just do good and stable in the exam. Give me peace in mind and dont take success too serious. Aiya... gonna get going.

I understand a little

Read a message saying God dont lead his people to a wealthy land. God dont lead them out of suffering. God is to free them from worshipping him, to be able to build an intimate relationship with him. Some suffer may bring us closer to him. In contrast, wealthy land may keep us away from him. I suddenly understand a little. If I am committed to a family now, I wouldn't have had this free heart on him. I will never find him that close, that supportive, that only to my everyday every moment. God teach me to enjoy be with you even with friends, career, family. So I am well prepared to have my own famly too. But I will wait and enjoy the time with you solely for now.

Meeting with M

It was F1 I met her. She became my best friend immediately. Classmates envied our friendship. We together learnt and joined activities. That was the happiest time so far in my life. Because my childhood was in frighten, lies, abuse and abandon. Maybe I didn't have that capacity to load those adversities at that time, it still seemed to me a nightmare but not real. Anyway, her friendship and acceptance gave me lots of support and courage to start my high school. Then, I can't remember if it's F3, she got another best friend. I was acting weird, jealous and miserable. I experience my first heartbreak. I cried everyday and I had no one to tell. F5 I went study in Canada giving her and I a "full stop". Although I experienced later on more heartbreaking ends of relationship, deep in my heart, there were place reserved for her long time ago. That's why today, after 17 years we met with her new born son, bugs bite inside. Figure out my feeling now, I love her as an old buddy still. And I pray for her and family all the best. And I finally find the reason for my conservative and not trusting other. That was really hurt! I better ask God to completely heal me.