Dating a divorce

Recently, I have been dating with a divorced man who owns a company himself. Very different from others, he is more gentle, generous, confident. Being with him, I have a very comfortable feeling. To be just silent sitting next to him does not make me feel awkward. He planned everything on the date and so I can just relax and enjoy. I like that especially not many men would do so when dating in Hong Kong. Very few of them have opinion. I mean real opinion not self centering. Sincerely, I don't find him attractive when I saw him. It's the way he talks, the manner he shows that make me applause. Also the career mind of him actually give him more marks. Well, he is also quite strategic. He sent me sms everyday (sometimes twice a day). He catched me on msn when I was working. He let me know he wanted to see me next time in every date.

Today, I was seeing him again. We started the topic of my religion. More precisely, he was offending my belief. From bottom of my heart, I shouted, "boy! He just hit my bottom line". I think I became bitchy then. I am not happy with this date. I just begin to fall for him and that happened. I don't know if it's a good thing or bad one. Maybe it's good to know we are not matched with each other from the very beginning. Or should I give him another chance. I don't know...... But at least for one thing I know is that, I don't feel that comfortable anymore.

The More I Cherish, the Easier I lose it! Always!

Just two day before the year of 2006, I lost my favorite necklace! I have never think about it but when I lost it, I knew that it was so very much important to me. The important part isn't the physical thing but the meaning behind. End of 2004, I was having stomach problem. Except spoiling food with no oil and seasoning, I got serious stomach ache after each meal. It was just killing me and I was depress and given up myself because of my health condition. I was hopeless and suprisingly at that time, mother for the very first time gave me very suitable support and care. She was seeing doctor with me. Talking about it with me. Being with me when I got pain and showed sympathy. Then one evening when we were dining out, she gave me this diamond cross pendant necklace. It is not just that. It is her motherhood, love, support, and knowing me (religious needs and the fond of jewels. Long for this gift for so long and I really treasure it. I lost it a year after! What I did then surprised myself. I searched for it in the middle to the night until wild dogs barked me home. The other morning, I took a day off and searched again in the district. I went to 2 police stations to report the lost. I prayed for someone getting it back to me. I begin to know more about myself. Things that I don't want to admit. I love my mother and my family. I long for thier caring and love. I am afraid to lose them. I may not know how to handle if I have to lose them one day. I am in a stage that require family supports. I pray for their health and our relationship getting better and better. I remind myself for not wasting time to not express my caring towards them.

Detached!

Having been a single for years, it was not easy, especially during festivals. Valentine's day is humiliating for sure. Even Christmas, supposed to be celebrating Jesus unconditional love, has becoming another valentine's day. Following will be the New Year eve with no one to celebrate with, kiss with, hug with and to looking forward to a new year together. Chinese New Year is also hard for us. Relatives keep asking you to get yourself married soon. "Don't be picky! Time is up! Bla bla bla..." Meanwhile, more friends are giving you red pocket money. Being the only one qualified to get red pocket money in your peer is scary. Getting out of town is one solution but to whom I can go with? Well, the only thing I hope is they don't ask their first born child to give me the red pocket money one day. Feeling so detached to the city. So crowded yet so lonely. Of course there are many of us that I know for sure. But I wonder where they are and whether it is a club for us so we can get some discounts to dine or to shop that could at least ease some of our pain. The question is when will it end? No one know. Aging with less hope. The whole society forces us to be so desperate. I wish I were a man. They don't have the pressure. Not at work, not from family. They are quality singles but we are fading. No wonder reports said singles get comparatively shorter life, single women particularly! God blesses we single women!