To Be or Not To Be ... A Grown-Up ?

It was a question I frequently ask myself and God because 6 month of counseling is almost over. Summing up my learning, I was taught to be an emotionally stable person, a responsible person and to be myself. Emotionally stable and responsible huh! It was so ironic. If I become such person, is that myself anymore? To be a grown-up, that is, I have to accept people's expectations. I have to do what they want me to. I am not allow to let them down or surprise them in any irresponsible way. I must walk on the track for the rest of my life. I am framed. If I have a say, I love to be different. I love to be spoiled and loved eventhough I am emotional and sometimes irresponsible. I deserve to be loved and repected because I AM a lovable person. I know love, I can share feelings, I understand and I am sincere. Don't I qualify for an exemption to be molded into a not-me? Struggling drives me crazy and make me feel so tired. To be or not to be a grown-up... It's not our choice.