Isn't it love?

A 39 woman and A 40 man - Isn't it so hard to get together? The woman wanna go straight down to the aisle. The man is lazy and too back laying. He likes her for her easygoing, bright and delightful. Now she is stressed, insecure and overwhelming. She - from the beginning, cannot appreciate him much. Eventually, she is grateful for all he has done to her. But zazazu, she's not sure. So her hand is always behind him, pushing him to the direction she wants. She begins to lose herself and become a control freak. He begins to get frustrated and step back. Too fast, too different, or too self-center? "Where is God?" they asked, the right question is, "Is there a place for God in this relationship?"

There is someone, I really wanna forget about. But appear in my dream from time to time. In my dream, everything is so real. Everything is still so familiar. Every time I woke up from one of these dream, I hate myself. For haven put in so many effort but fail in forgetting. For haven started so many new chapters but still couldn't totally cover the page. Also, I couldn't understand why only this page so remarkable. I was surprise and couldn't figure it out still. God I am really ready for a new page.

Job is eating me recently. Very hard to balance from it. Yea I m lazy. Stress = cant sleep = addicted in something = not healthy and looking sucks and get me moody. Balance! the day I get over it, I guess it's time to meet Jesus in heaven. Life is sucks when we bet most chips on material.

got a 11Oct deadline and a cost for tutoring, spend three hours on music theory this evening at coffee shop. I thought I was having a fever at that time. but really need to finish the study. frankly, a little addiction after the 1st hour. strange huh! actually treat myself with wall e bf starting. a little plant in a shoe bring back people who already give earth up. quite funny though not a new idea of seeing the clumsy and obese human who thought are having a comfy n convenience in the space. disney is so dare in this movie of accusing A. consuming trend B. life style more and more rely on artificial intelligent and the most obvious C. killing the earth we are. relating consuming to wasting to killing the earth. relating computerized to lack of intimacy to losing of human dignity. robots are supposed to be cold and incapable to love. but human ironically rely on them to bring them back to life. the captain said, "I don't wanna survive, I wanna live!" To Live! are we living at all after all, better give it a think.

computer is very strange recently. it took me 5 times to log in to my blogger. one mac is totally down. this borrowed one just hang. mac don't hang usually. super strange. anyway, close friend is confirmed getting married this year. lots of feeling deep down. happy for her definitely. worrying for myself also. will I end up with someone or just die alone? after thinking it over really hard for a few weeks, I confess I scared. pray for it, no significant answer still. I started playing the piano score for some hymns I just get from hymns lesson at church today. peace gradually came and scares gone. heart fill with his love. and suddenly, I found "y not wait in praise if I'll wait anyway" God is faithfulness and he will not miss my pray. yes I will praise until he give it to me. my heart will be full of peace, not insecure when he meet me, right! yeah that's what I should do.