A bad day

Got an interview today. A pure marketing job at a newspaper. O I so wanna have it. But too bad I lack of related experience. I think chances are very low. Down for an afternoon. Fringe too long need to be cut. Bad luck! I run into an unprofessional coiffeur who give me an unfinished, uneven, outdated haircut. The point is I love my previous one sooooo much except the fringe is too long. My own fault. I shouldn't let him touch other area but fringe only. I argue with him and not able to make him understand his problem... seriously critizing my communication skill! Despite all these bad mood, by the time I step in church for bible study, I change. By the time we worship, I begin to relief. By the time we start dig into Daniel's life, I forget. By the time pastor pray for us, I am heal. By the time J and I go grab a bite, I am able to share and listen. Only He can change me. Change my mood, fill me up, make me forget. Thanks you! I love you.

Music and Lyrics

Music is the sex and appearance. Lyrics are the soul, how you get in to know that person. In the movie "Music and Lyrics", Sophie said that and I found her speak my mind out. I love pop since I was little. Usually the melody catches me but the ones I really fall for are usually with deep touching lyrics. I guess love is the same. That we can crash into many handsome faces. But only the kind heart, sincere love linger for years. Music is always nice and important. But there is a formula to win just like a person. Lyrics however, are unique and personal. It's about matching. Match in character, match in timing, match in needs. All are good as long as written with heart and express one's true feeling. Are you living with your whole heart, so people see it from you? If you try hard enough to, someone will hear it. He will!

Feeling down recently. I want to be in love. I am lonely. I want to be hug into sleep. I miss the lost one. I am desperate. I lost my confident. No one want me? There is no one meant to be mine? I am not good enough? I am a defect? I did thing terribly wrong and deserve to end alone? Am I gonna have my own kids? Own family? Will my parents see me getting married? I don't have the confident now. I am very insecure and sad because I can't stand the loneliness.

Reject the Offer

I rejected the offer from the bible publisher. I am not sure which one is the real reason. But the one I told myself and friends is they need someone with physical support. Frankly, this is only a part of it. I also dislike the challenge. Not willing to work with stress people. Unprepared to face my real ability. I am quite sure of my lifestyle by now. That I need a job: stable, pleasant environment, friendly admosphere, an no stress. For I know myself I will quit in the end for the hardship and that is not I want for now. I want to settle and not wandering around at workplace. I hope God understand my weakness and prepare a suitable place for me.

Supports

Since the 1st interview, I started to struggle for whether to take it or leave it. I realize I have so many nice friends around me to support and advise. I feel very blessed. Although I still think career is personal stuff require own decision. Still appreciate every input from others.

My New Chihuahua - A brand new start

Coming back from the states, I think I m ready to pet again. And I have strong feeling that I wont be able to live without pet. HAHA. Single girl with a dog, what a typical scenario! Anyway, buying dad a brunch at the Four Season, we head off to pet shop. From an unrecognized pet shop, I find him. A brown color (like a moose), front legs with white tips, large ears and eyes, tiny. I love him at the first sight. He is on my lap. Playing with my mom now.
Almost a year now from his pass away. I know he won't mind I have a new friend. Never meant to replace him. Although I do find his shadow from new friend. Still everyone is unique. I will get his bone back next month. From the heaven, he watch over both of us. I love them both with all my heart.

An offer

My door is open for cecular and NGO. Have peace inside this time knowing God is leading. So I got an offer from a bible pulishing organization. The timing, pay, location is great. Only the boss... absolutely not a nice one. Lots of struggles, now I say I will follow whatever He leads me to. Because he will be responsible for that. Pray for me with big faith and guts.