One Sweet Day - Mariah Carey/Boyz II Men

Sorry I never told you All I wanted to say And now it's too late to hold you 'Cause you've flown away So far away Never had I imagined Living without your smile Feeling and knowing you hear me It keeps me alive Alive And I know you're shining down on me from Heaven Like so many friends we've lost along the way And I know eventually we'll be together One sweet day Darling, I never showed you Assumed you'd always be there I took your presence for granted But I always cared And I miss the love we shared And I know you're shining down on me from Heaven Like so many friends we've lost along the way And I know eventually we'll be together One sweet day Although the sun will never shine the same I'll always look to a brighter day Lord I know when I lay me down to sleep You will always listen as I pray And I know you're shining down on me from Heaven Like so many friends we've lost along the way And I know eventually we'll be together One sweet day And I know you're shining down on me from Heaven Like so many friends we've lost along the way And I know eventually we'll be together One sweet day Sorry I never told you All I wanted to say

Pet or Partner?

Talked to my little sis in the States. So worry about her life there. But I'm glad to be able to support her with love and pray. I wish her healthy and happy ,and let God leads her way. When we talked about our dogs, we both think they are our partner not pet. I once again went through the incident in my mind. Aching, still! Don't know when it ends. Many asked if I will get a new one. The world without him is like a silent movie, a colorless dream, distill water. But I don't wanna bring a new one in my life yet. I don't know why. I played with my friend's cat the other day. Super cute! Have been seriously considering a cat of my own. Well maybe one day I will. But now, I just miss him too much.

Father, who God prepared for me

Daddy changes a lot these years. He pays a lot of attentions in his health. He reads, jogs, and talks more than ever. He reads a lot of self help books (well, although he enjoys more in buying and reads only half of each). He lives positively and really makes me proud of him. On my birthday, we had lunch together. We were talking about his retirement. It's the first time he told me he really worries about my financial status and health condition. He wants to see me happy, healthy and wealthy. Thanks God for giving me a father. Giving me a reason to live well, to take good care of myself and to live positively so he shouldn't need to worry about me. I may not be able to be a brilliant daughter. But I can be a happy and healthy one. At least I try my best to.

Papa, Je t'aime

Il etait 30ans. He is not my biological father. But I am glad to have him rather than anyone in the world. My mom said different from elder sister who is 11months elder than me, I call him DAD right the way the time we went to this new home. Since then, it started our father-daughter rapport tres special. I was 2! To me, he is a savior and Mr. know-it-all. And he never say NO to me. He saved me from hitting by mom. Solve all my problems with his money (he believes money can solve EVERYTHING). Although he is super busy, he care for spending time on me. Like doing homework for me, bringing me to school everyday, hearing my stupid thought and hanging out with me. He was the most capable man in the world to me. However, everybody gets old. Lately, I realize he concerns about his health so much. He gets tired easily. He talks more than ever. He indulges himself in shopping. He tells me that he loves me. I can sense him from aging and desire to live longer healthily. On my birthday this year, he was having lunch with me. We were discussing his retirement plan. He told me he is worrying about me. For my economic status, for my health, and for my future happiness. I was heart-broken. Because I am way too mature to let him worry about me that much. I have never think of living a better life for someone who loves and cares about me that much. I thought my life is mine and I am going to live it my way. In this Father's day, I especially treasure. I promise myself and to him, that I will live up so he doesn't need to worry about me anymore. And no matter what happened between us or whether or not he is my real dad, there is no one more special than him to me in my life!

This Birthday

It is a special birthday. For I can't walk around this year, I can go nowhere but stay home. I invited some really closed friends to my new home for gathering and house warming. We cooked, chated and went to the club house. All of us had great time. I was requested to say praise before dinner. In the pray, I gave thanks for what I see in the changing in their lives. I prayed for them for what I notice they need for now. Also, I thanked God for bringing them to me and loving me so much for all these years. I realized how grateful it is to have them all beside me on my big day. I know them for long time, but it is just a couple years that they became also my brothers and sisters in Christ. I have been praying for more Christian friends last year. Suprisingly, He turned my old friends into them. God is really amazaing and with sense of humor!

Le Concert de Jamie

Hurray! Jamie came to HK and I went to his concert. It was an enchanted evening! I knew Jamie from HMV. One day I was shopping at the Jazz section in HMV, the DJ was playing Jamie's "Twenty something". It was love at first sight. I searched for his album and bought it right the way. A young english guy playing excellent pop jazz, it's something. I like his voice, it's mature but rebel. I love his creative and passion in music. He totally shows his creativity in the concert. It's like nothing can frame him from presenting himself to the audience using every single piece of instrument on the stage. His rythum is excellent. It doesn't show any stress in his performance. It's like he doesn't prepare at all but he just doing it so well. He cried when he played a song about losing someone. My heart was broken for I could feel him. I guess he had found the right communication tool in moving himself and others. So envy that someone has such talent and he knows it and he has achievement from it.

Nice and Simple Birthday Party

Most of my birthdays filled with crowds, dinner parties, karaoke partie, etc. This year, can't go anywhere but refuse to be alone. There comes a party at my new home.

A couple of close friends came to my place. We chat, cook, and house warn. It was a nice and cozy party. They asked me to say grace. Ending up I pray for each of them. It's very touching. I know them for years and they have impact on me these years. Especially this year, we all go through special moments and support each other.

I thanks for friends who can share good and bad from life, tell each other our needs and pray for each other.

This is a simple but sweet birthday. They remind me that they never celebrated my birthday ever on the exact day. That really suprised me cos they are my best friends. I realize I never cherish my friends in the past. I tell myself, now as you know who are true friends and must learn to cherish from now on.

Scum of 2006

The divorced man ended up a scum. In the beginning, every thing is so smooth and sweet. Until I've been taking care of his dog and he's like completely self-centered. He would decide to come visit them whenever he was free. He would blame me for not letting him. He said he would do the clean up but then I just became the maid for him and his dogs. Also, everytime he came, I felt like he really just wanted to see his dogs but me. He showed totally no interest in me. No deep conversation, no photo album veiwing, nothing but requesting me to cook for him.

What a self centered jerk! It was so not a good sign. I just don't know why I keep crushing on him. Well, maybe I was still giving him tons of excuses for maybe he is shy, has unhappy past with girls bla bla bla. I still wanna give it a try!

The day my dog was leaving, he was with me all day. Well, he was so not handling it well. Not even pass. 1st it took him way too long to drive me to the clinic coz he got the wrong way. Then he kissed me on that night!! Come on I was so lost and so fragile. He took advantage and he is no longer a good guy for sure. Yeah he called and sent message to show caring. He volunteered to be a companion. Trying to kiss me again and further!

Anyway, the time he thought I am already trapped, I refuse to. I clarified our relationship with him and he couldn't do it. I quitted him right there and never answner his calls and messages anymore. He kept pursuing for 2 weeks then he threw at me some kind of blaming message and said won't bother me again. For that it hurts.

I thought that's over. But guess what, 2 weeks later, he asked for being friends by sms. Ha, making it totally like forgetting what he had said. One day, blaming me again for my cruelness. I gave him a chance to talk to me. Very disappointed! No progress at all. Absolutely no sincerity. Stupid me thought no harm for me to keep him. He tried to talk sweet but of course not what I buy. I refused to see him again, just plain chat online for another month.

Today it's my birthday. It's like 2 weeks that he didn't initiate a chat. As a woman, I smell his not interesting. I went on friendly chat with him and he's like putting off all the time. Hours ago, he asked me if I have been dating someone lately. I told him yes and he went mad. 1st he told me he has sour feeling. Then suddenly he revealled that there is a reason for not being agressive on me (of course not telling it). Then he thanks me for being nice to him and dogs and said will never forget me. Then blame himself for not 100% opening himself to me coz he's hiding something (again can't tell me what). Finally, he tried to say it and again of course not telling at last. Blame his bad temper and blame me for not picking him... bla bla bla. Finally, he's like 180 degree turned and told me he will date someone nice and pretty tomorrow. Seeing her photo that he forwarded to me, I can't stand anymore. Wished him good luck and say bye. I guess that's it!

This guy is totally nonsense, unfaithful to even himself. I don't know what happen to him but I for sure don't wanna get involved into it. Maybe he is crazy, bad temper as he said about himself, just don't want commitment but fooling around, or everything about him is a lie. I am sure it will not be a happy relationship to me. Eventhough I am curious and intend to help him out, I believe I don't want to sacrisfy myself to save him. Also, I have no such ability and enough patient and love.

"I really like you. I want to sleep with you. If it's 2years ago, I would have done it. With more wisdom about men, I won't put myself into such situation anymore today. So I guess that's it. It not worth for me to go on like this with you and I am not worth for you too coz you will not be able to get what you want from me. Let's go on our own way. Just don't hurt other good girls coz we are actually very fragile. "