"Eight Below"

Rent the movie "Eight Below" by Disney. I remember I was going to see it at cinema. But then my dog passed away. The vcd is out for months already. Everytime I saw it, I am afraid to rent it home. Yesterday, sister and cousin came to my place and we have a long talk from 3pm to 11pm. Finally, I can talk about him. Reading the bible story of the king David losing his son, I got some insight and new belief in my sorrow. David stopped eating and bathing until son died. But then he went up and cleaned and started to eat again and most importantly, he worshipped. He lost but he knew nothing will change even he kept weeping. So he started again. Then God gave him Soloman. Therefore, I went to rent the movie home. Just watched half of it, my heart sink. Tears came out when seeing how the dogs save human being, how obedience they are, the will of fighting to survive, how they take care each other, even their cute facial expression. Reminding me of him. He was such a little sweetheart to me. .... I love him I love him I love him......... but I will live strong..........

My lovely fan

I love my new hang fan light. It is what I want for long time. Very elegant, classic, colonial, oriental. I got a 10 feet height ceiling so look very nice. Cool! The flat looks so different and cool.

Schedule of the Previous Week

Monday I went to high school reunion and find that I am the only single one! Tuesday I went to the cinema alone. Webnesday I forgot to take hepatitsis medicine. Thinking: will I be able to find someone who would risk being with me and having baby with me? Thursday I went to a friend's club house for body massage. She invited me stay overnight. Ending up she talked about her bad experience in dating recently. Friday no plan at all..... rent video and watched all day........alone. Saturday one of my close female friend (30 and single) invited me out to dinner. She reminded me of how lonely we all are. Finished dinner at 12:30am but still she suggested to go clubbing.... we are so desperate. Sunday I went to church and it was first time for gathering. I found the group all singles. But still "single" means not married with stable relationship. Sorry, to me "single" means nothing in hand! Have I already missed the golden time? Missed the right person? Missed the timing? Have I? Talking to net friend on the phone all night long. I was told 30+ guys are looking for 20+. 40+ guys are all married with kids or divorced not wanting to commit again. No exit for we 30+ ladies and it is miserable. Will I end up all alone......

Working for Money?!

Finally, quit the job! Feeling relief. It is over and I dont have to struggle anymore. It has been few months that I've thinking of quitting. But I can't do that because I was not sure. Well, now I have decided and it is kind of impusive though. Because I am now totally disappointed to the people and finding no prospect at all.

I don't know what I will do. And whether I can survive in new job. I know it will be more and more difficult for me but I pray for the strength and faith in career. I have to achieve it now. Can't keep searching and quitting. I have to overcome my fear and interpersonal problem. I have to be stable from now on. I have to be more persistant. I have to grow up and be a mature employee because that's what everyone does. And I would need the stable salary to live.

Recently, people around me are telling me how money is important to their life. It destroys self-esteem. Make couples break up. Keep families away from each other. Kill dreams of a person... No money no talk!! In Hong Kong, it is very true. Since I never had money problem, it is a brand new topic to me. I only money can bring happiness. I don't know lack of money bring in so many problems.

I work for self satisfaction. Never work for money. So whenever I feel like quitting, I do so. Never once, I force myself to be patient and wait. Thinking of working for money, it already made me scared and feel sick. I really don't know if I can do it. I know I have to be realistic for now and it would be difficult for me. But this time, I must fight!!!

I pray for a job that I can handle and settle. Because I am sure if the job is approved by Him, I can handle it. I have the experience!

Those were the days

This week is soooo "those were the days"... First, had great time in the "Long Time No See" concert. So happy to see Jan and Eric get back together after all these years. Jacky Cheung lighted up the show and brought us back to the old time when he sang "每天愛你多一些". But of course I like the "白雪公主 米奇老鼠" version better! I especially like the part about their relationship throughout these years. They were like brothers sharing everything when their career just started. Then there are about 10 years they have no contact at all. (Jan even blamed Eric not informing him for his new born boy.) They use a song "最佳損友" to describe their regret to their fading relationship. So glad they didn't pretend and have the guts to tell us that they are just the same as everyone of us. Yes, it's a cruel world we are living in. Very few friendship work for life time. There are so many things we desire yet not enough time to get. Therefore, we choose not to invest in relationship. Flower needs watering and so does friendship. At the time we finally understand it, 10 years were passed. Today, I went to a dinner meeting with high school buddies and a teacher. The last time we met was 10 years ago!!! The feeling is complicated. So many things to share - updating recent life, laughing at old jokes at school... yet, we are so short of time. Some happily married, one with diabetic kid, one broke up with a 10-year boyfriend, one got bone cancer, one becomes active in evironmental protection... To the bad, we bless and to the good, we thank. That's all we can do as a conclusion for the 10 years of aparting. Better off, to promise to meet again someday in the coming 10 years... Wyman的詞寫得很到! "無法再與你交心聯手，畢景難得有過最佳損友..; 為何舊知己在最後變不到老友... 被推著走 跟著生活流... 來年陌生的是昨日最親的某某... 不知你又有沒有，掛念這舊友，或者自己早就想通透..."